How To Overcome Self-Doubt & Self-Criticism

“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts”
- Buddha
"How and when did this thought pattern get developed?"
"How did this idea plant the seed in our head?"
1. Write it all out.
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In what way do you sometimes feel inadequate? In what way do you feel that you’re not enough? In what way do you sometimes feel inferior to others?
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2. Understand where the doubts and criticism come from.
a) Were there events in the past that led up to this belief about yourself?
- Who?
- What did they say?
- When did they say this?
- Why did they say so? What’s the context?
- Describe the experience that caused you pain.
- What belief did you adopt as a result of having gone through this experience?
d) How have those words / How has this experience been affecting the way you live your life? How have they been limiting you, or, motivating you?
e) The person that criticized you, what beliefs do they hold about themselves?
- What beliefs do they hold about themselves?
- What beliefs do they hold about others?
- How did their beliefs affect your beliefs? How much of your beliefs are influenced by theirs?
- What could be their insecurities and fears?
- Could they be projecting or passing those onto you?
Most of the time, we can't change people. But we can change the way we receive, interpret, and process what's being said to us.
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3. Learn to forgive and let go
How can you forgive that person for the experience?- Firstly, try to understand the situation from their point of view. Why did they do what they did? What were their circumstances in life? When you look at unfortunate events in life with understanding, you can get through anything in life.
- Secondly, focus on what you have learned and how you have grown from it. You wouldn't have gained the wisdom and strength without having gone through such event. So that's something you can be thankful for.
How can you forgive that person for what they said to you?
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How can you let go of those words? Write those words into a piece of paper and throw it into the bin or burn it. Let it go.
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4. Adopt new beliefs and be a new you.
Write down the new beliefs you want to believe about yourself.
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What are your good traits? What are your strengths? Why should you love yourself? Why should you be proud of yourself?
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What don’t you like about yourself? Can you change those aspects? If so, how? If not, learn to accept them, know how to manage them, and be happy with them.
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If you were living your full potential, what would you be like? Describe the best version of yourself from actions to thoughts and feelings.
Now is the time to focus on becoming your best self. Leave the past in the past. Focus on forming new beliefs. Read books that reinforce your thinking on those new beliefs. You may have to read 10-20 books over the course of 1-2 years.
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5. Avoid getting into situations that would put yourself into a position where your old limiting beliefs get reinforced again.
Your old beliefs will keep popping up. You need to force yourself to challenge them through repetitive thinking and forced actions.
"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten." - Tony Robbins
Challenge yourself to do something differently. Look at the people who have achieved the results that you desire in life and take a look at their actions.
- How do they do things differently from what I've previously done?
- What would they do if they were in my shoes?
Force yourself to do things the way they do even if it goes against what you're used to. You will start to believe in the new belief once you start seeing achieving outcomes. Keep at it before you give up!
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5. Surround yourself with people who do not have self-doubt or put themselves down.
Energies, mindsets, and attitudes are contagious. Therefore, it's impossible to not have self-doubt if your friends have self-doubt, and it's impossible to not be motivated and inspired when you're surrounded by motivated and inspiring people.
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Who are these people? What would they do? Where do they live? What are their lifestyles, attitudes, and habits? What do they read or watch?
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How can you start adopting their habits and perspective?
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How can you find them and be friends with them?
Overcoming something that has been in our subconscious mind for so long isn't easy. But if you've finished reading this, you're already halfway there. The rest is just follow through the steps and keep practicing believing in the new beliefs and taking new actions until they truly become your new way of life. It might take 1-2 years or longer. Don't give up!
We hope this blog post has provided you some great guidance. If you have any questions or comments, please leave them below.
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