If there is one word I could use to describe 2021 for me, it is “unpredictable”.2021 was unpredictable.
Everything that happened wasn’t planned. Everything that happened I couldn’t have planned. The pandemic has changed life paths and goals for a lot of people. Routines were interrupted. Relationships either ended or became stronger and reached new heights. Career choices were evaluated. Families became closer and either grew more acceptance of one another or fell apart. You either fall more in love with your city or realize that it’s time to leave.
Have you ever been in a long-term relationship with something that isn’t good for you? But somehow you stick with it and keep going back to it because it’s the only thing you know to have been able to help you feel better when you were at a low point in your life; when you were depressed; when you were sad; when you were unhappy.
Somehow this thing you started becoming acquainted with became your best friend over the years. It’s your muse, your escape, your cave, and your sanctuary. It makes you feel safe and comforted. Yet, at the same time, you know that it’s not good for your health. You’re wasting your health away. You’re wasting money. You’re wasting time and energy. You’re sabotaging not just yourself but also relationships in your life because of your emotional attachment to your bad habit. But because you’ve been reliant on it for so long to help you feel better throughout the ups and downs of life, you don’t know how to cut ties. You don’t know how to break up with it. You don’t know how to say goodbye.
Do you experience imposter syndrome? Do you find yourself comparing to others and feel that you're not good enough?
Do you sometimes find that you have relationship anxieties? Do you find it hard to open up and let someone in?
All of these come down to your ability to accept yourself. And you can never fully accept yourself until you heal that wound with your parents around acceptance.
When you can make peace with self-acceptance issues with your parents (whether to heal OR to forgive & move on), that’s when you can feel truly secure within yourself; that's when you will stop experiencing imposter syndrome; that’s when you can find true love - the kind of love that truly accepts you for who you are.
Have you ever been at a crossroads in life where you have to make a decision but you feel stuck?You keep changing your mind back and forth on your options. I feel like many people are at crossroads right now. With lockdown, restrictions, and changes that have been going on with jobs, many people are considering a career change, moving to another city, and even ending relationships.
I have been at crossroads myself. Sometimes I feel that it might have been easier to be told what to do and to have to follow a certain path like some friends because the paradox of choice is real.
But no matter how confusing making a big decision might be sometimes, I've learned that in the end, you will always find your answer.Your answer might not come to you at the moment. It may take months or years. No matter how much you force it to come, it will not come to you. You will arrive to your answer when you’re ready. You will find the opportunities you seek when you’re ready. You will find the person of your dreams when you’re ready. You will take a leap of faith and believe in yourself when you’re tired of the old path and are ready for the new path.
We will never be fully ready and equipped with all the skills necessary to do what we want to do and to succeed in the new journey we’re about to embark on because that’s a part of the journey- you learn, grow, and gain new skills on your journey. But at some point, you will feel ready to make changes, to jump, to take a leap of faith, and to expand your horizon once again.
So if you’re trying to make a decision right now - no matter what it is - career change, cities to move to, staying in or leaving your relationship - let’s lay it all out and gain some clarity!
This year has been full of uncertainty and change. And the wheels are still turning. Things are still shifting. We’re still going through the transition.
I hope this blog post can act as a reminder and a guidance to help you build your mental strength whether you still feel lost in this transition or if you’ve managed to build a routine and find your way around it.
Today I want to talk about hope. And how important it is to have hope. But more importantly, how our hope won’t likely become a reality unless we believe that our hope will come true.
But with so much fear and insecurity, how can we convince ourselves that we are worthy of reserving what we desire? How can we make ourselves believe that what we want can happen and it will happen?Because everything, everything that happens to us is simply a reflection of our beliefs.If we don’t believe we deserve something, subconsciously we...
We all talk about being the best we can be, but what if being our best means being able to manage our worst selves? I believe that we all have our darkness. Personality traits are like yin and yang. Every strength comes with a weakness.The intensity of your strength comes at a cost of the intensity of your weakness.Unless all of your traits are neutral, then you can’t run away from this fact of the human psyche.
If you say you don’t have any darkness within you, it’s probably because of one of the following reasons:
You are oblivious to it.
You don’t know yourself well enough.
You have been hiding it, hiding from it, and avoid facing it by avoiding intimacy.
Running away from our darkness or being oblivious to it is like running away from the truth of life. It is hard to be vulnerable. It is hard to face our weakness. But unless we learn to face it, accept it, and learn to manage it, we cannot become whole. If you live life only facing your light, you will keep feeling like you’re running the show because you’re dismissing another important part of you. When you learn to embrace your whole self, you will be filled with self-love. And it’s a beautiful feeling to live in a constant state of flow.
At the end of last year, we did a survey asking you what you’d like to stop doing the most in 2020. We learned that self-doubt and self-criticism is something a lot of you would like to minimize. This brings back to the questions:
"How and when did this thought pattern get developed?"
"How did thisideaplant the seed in our head?’
Nobody is perfect. Our upbringing shaped who we are a lot more than we think. Now that we are adults and are aware of our thought patterns, we can learn to unlock and remove what no longer positively serves us.
The beginning of a transformation starts with recognizing that we need to change. Now let’s dive deep into this. Get your pen and paper ready!
Whether you’re in a relationship, single, or in a complicated situation, I think we can all agree thatworking on our relationship is really working on ourselves.
There’s no other place as intimately challenging as being in a relationship.A relationship is where can heal all of our intimacy, commitment, and abandonment wounds and fears - if we allow ourselves to confront our deepest fears and greatest vulnerabilities.Many of us choose to run. But there comes a point when we’re mature enough to realize that running away doesn’t make anything better. Running away might seem like the right thing to do in the moment, but it doesn’t make us feel fulfilled. We still feel hollow because we run away from our deepest need - our need to be loved.